My Love
by Dancergirl8
Summary: One possible scenario of what could of happened to Rick Castle's first wife. Please read and review! I've been told it's good : . AU


AN: So, right now I'm assuming that Castle's wife died because he always talks about her in the past tense. I'm assuming that they didn't get a divorce because that wouldn't make for a very fun story. Enjoy :) Also this hasn't been beta-ed yet lol, I have yet to go through but I had to get it up, so sorry for all the mistakes. hopefully there isn't too many!

AN2: Okay I know that Castle's wife is not dead, I realized after I got the first review and then went back watched it and went, "oh yeah..." This is an AU fanfiction, and it pretty much was to begin with. Please do not leave me reviews saying something such as, "Castle's wife isn't dead. Sorry." And that's it. Yes I know that, let me know how you liked it if she had died.

Note: Also, thank you to the anonymous reviewer that pointed out that I wrote Call of Death instead of Time of Death. I don't know what exactly I was thinking when I wrote that. Lol.

Rating: K+ or T, depends really

Disclaimer: nope, don't own nothing :( except for the plot and the name Lydia as his wifes name lol.

Summary: My take on how Castle's wife died. Yes this is just one scenario, don't flame it please!!!!! I'm using Flowers for your Grave just so I can say the title of a book he wrote.

(line)

"Alexis, wait at the school till mommy comes and gets you this afternoon okay? Don't get on the bus," Rick Castle told his five year old daughter as he dropped her off at the kindergarten.

"Okay daddy, love you," Alexis said, kissing her dad quickly on the cheek before running off to the bus, pink lunch box in her hand and a barbie backpack on her back.

"Love you too," Rick said, watching his daughter get on the bus. He turned around and walked back into his house.

He sat down at the kitchen table grabbing a bowl of cereal and getting to work on his next book Flowers for your Grave. Rick looked at his computer screen for a few minutes before starting to type up chapter six. Deep in his writing he noticed an odd silence around him. He looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was 10:30 already. His wife should have left already, why hadn't he heard her come down the stairs and leave?

"Lydia? Lydia are you still here?" He asked, as he climbed up the stairs. He opened the bedroom door to find the bed made and the room spotless as it usually was.

"Lydia? Babe, answer me," He called out, walking over to their bathroom. He opened the door to find his wife laying on her stomach arms and legs splayed out and head bent to the left. He ran over immidiatly and shook her.

"Lyd, come on baby," He pleaded, turning her lifeless body over.

He ran to the phone, tears streaming down his face, and quickly called 911.

"Please you have to help me. My wife, she's…I don't know if she's breathing. Please you have to send help," He cried as the dispatcher picked up.

"Sir, you have to tell me where you are," They responded.

"5397 1st avenue," He said, running back into the bathroom.

"Alright, please stay on the phone with me until the ambulance arrives, they are leaving right now," She soothed.

"T-thank you," He stuttered, lifting his wife's head into his lap and stroaking her hair. Putting the phone on speakerphone, he set it down on the sink and started whispering to his wife.

"Come on Lyd, don't do this to me…what about Alexis? You can't leave me, you can't leave us. How will I raise her without you? Come on baby, you can get through this, you have to…" He cried, shaking her once more, trying to get a simple response from her.

"Hello! Where are you, we're paramedics," A voice shouted from downstairs.

He gently set his wife's head on the floor before running to the stairs and directing them upstairs. He stepped back and watched as they went to work on his wife. He couldn't tell what they were doing, he saw them sticking tubes down her throat and then attaching pads to her chest. He didn't recognize any of their talk. Didn't know what they were talking about. Except for three little words. We have her. They quickly loaded her into a stair chair and brought her down the stairs before transfering her to a stretcher.

"Sir, are you coming with us?" The paramedic asked.

"Yes, thank you," Rick said, jumping into the back of the ambulance. As they approached the hospital he was directed to patient registration to get his wife checked in while they went to work on her.

"Mr. Rick Castle?" A doctor called out hours later.

"Yes?" He asked, looking up from the floor.

"My name is Dr. Pritchard I worked on your wife this afternoon," He said.

"How is she, can I see her?" He asked.

"She is in our ICU right now, she suffered a heart attack and when she fell she hit her head against the floor. This caused her brain to swell and we had to perform an operation to relieve some of the pressure. We're not sure when she will wake up. These next 36 hours will be critical. Luckily she should have no further effects from the heart attack. Right now her brain injury is our main concern," He said.

"Can I see her?" He repeated.

"Yes, once she is settled in I will have a nurse bring you up to our ICU. All you can do right now is wait and call any close relatives that should know about this," He said.

"Okay, thank you doctor," He said, watching the doctor walk away, he suddenly realized that his daughter would still be at the school waiting for her mother. He looked down at his watch and swore. It was already 4:50 she had been out of schol for an hour and a half already.

He quickly ran to call a cab and instructed them to go to the elementary school to pick up his daughter. When he got there, he ran into the school to find his daughter sitting by herself on the bench. He ran over to her and grabbed her into a hug.

"Where's mommy?" Alexis asked, tears in her voice.

"She had an accident sweetie, I'm so sorry," Rick murmured against his daughters hair.

"Where is mommy?" She asked, wrapping her tiny arms around her dad.

"She's in the hospital, do you remember when Grandma got into the car accident and she had to stay there?" He asked.

"Yes, can I see her?" She asked.

"Yeah, we'll go right now, okay?" He asked, picking her up and carrying her over to the main desk, "Do I need to sign her out?"

"No, it's after school hours," The secretary replied.

"Thank you," He said, as he walked out to the cab with his daughter.

"Where's your car?" She asked.

"It's still at the house, I rode in the ambulance with mommy," He said, settling his daughter into the cab and then climbing in himself.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked.

"University Hospital,"Rick said.

The driver grunted in reply, and they rode in silence to the hospital. After returning to the hospital, he went to the main desk and gave them his wife's name.

"She is in room 3026," The volunteer said, giving him a slight smile.

"Thank you," He said, grabbing his daughter and then running towards the closing elevator. Getting there just in time he pressed the 3 and then rode the elevator up 3 floors.

"Now, how do you get to 3026," He muttered to no one in particular.

"Are you lost?" A girl about 15 asked.

"Yes, I'm looking for my wife, she's in 3026," He told her.

"Oh, that's right this way, here's I'll take you," She said, smiling at him.

"Thank you," He said.

"Is that your daughter? She's adorable," The girl said.

"Yes, thank you. Can you say hi Alexis?" He asked.

"Hi," Alexis mimicked.

"Hello Alexis, my name is Mackenzie," The volunteer said, smiling at his daughter, "Well here it is."

"Thank you again," He replied before disapering into the room.

"No problem," She said, before walking the opposite way.

He gasped as he looked at his wife, there were monitors covering the entire back wall and she had a bandage wrapped around her head. All of her beautiful red hair had been shaved from her head and she had tubes and wires everywhere. Things were beeping and it looked like she was just sleeping.

"Mommy?" Alexis cried, squirming in Rick's arms, trying to get down and to her mom.

He put her down and watched as his daughter ran over to the side of the bed, she peered over the side of the bed and up at her mom. He walked over and lifted his daughter up onto the bed, telling her to be careful. She reached out cautiously and patted her mother's hand.

"Mommy?" She cried, tears streaming down her pretty face.

"Why won't she answer me?" She asked, looking up at her dad.

"Mommy is asleep right now," He gently told her.

"Mr. Castle?" Dr. Pritchard asked.

"Yes," He said, "And this is our daughter Alexis."

"Well hello Alexis. Do you like lollypops?" He asked.

She nodded her head and watched as the doctor pulled out a big purple lollypop from his pocket and walked over to give it to her.

"Thank you," She said shyly as she watched her dad walk over to talk to the doctor.

"Can I talk to you outside?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," He replied before walking back over to Alexis.

"Honey I'm going to go talk to the doctor, okay?" He asked, picking her up and placing her in the chair next to the bed.

"Why can't I stay on the bed with mommy?" She asked.

"Because I don't want you to fall off, but tell you what. I'll move the chair closer so you can reach her hand okay?" He asked her.

"Okay daddy," She said, watching him walk out of the room.

"We have been monitoring your wife's condition and we have not seen any change yet, in fact some of her vitals have decreased. We're monitoring her but she is listed in critical condition. Right now she is not breathing on her own, she is on life support which means that the machine in there is breathing for her so that oxygen is still getting transported through her body. But I need you to understand that if she does not wake up in 36 hours then the chances of her waking up later decrease as the days go by," The doctor told him honestly.

"You're telling me that my wife may not come through this?" He asked, leaning against the wall for support.

"Yes," The doctor said, giving him a sympathetic look.

He turned his head to look inside and saw his daughter pressed up against the wall, a look of terror in her eyes. He turned his eyes to the bed where he saw his wife jerking around.

"Oh my god, what is happening. Doctor, do something. What's happening to her!" HE yelled as he raced back into the room. He grabbed his daughter up and covered her eyes, he watched in horror as the doctor lowered the bed and quickly turned his wife to her side before slamming the red CALL button on the wall.

"Get them out of here," The doctor yelled as the nurses came rushing into the room with a crash cart.

"You're going to have to leave for a moment," One of the nurses told Rick, gently pushing them towards the door. Once they were out, she quickly went to the drawers and pulled out a syringe. Rick watched as they pumped her full of drugs before seeing the line on the monitor go flat. He watched in horror as the doctor ordered the paddles to be charged again…and again…and again… As the doctors put the paddles down and then recited the words that many doctors say, "Time of Death 17:35"

"No!" Rick shouted, sinking to the floor with his daughter in his arms. He burried his face into her hair and inhaled her scent, so much like her mothers. He cried as the doctor came out to tell him what he already knew, his wife had passed away.

Rick silently walked back into the room and sat on the edge of the bed with his daughter still nestled in his arms.

"Daddy, what happened?" She asked, looking up at her father, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Do you remember how when Grandpa was in the car accident and the doctors told us that he had moved on? Do you remember when your mommy and I went to his funeral and you stayed with the babysitter?" He asked gently.

"Yeah," She asked, the tears starting to fall, "Is mommy with Poppy now?"

"Yes sweetie. She's in heaven with Poppy now," Rick murmured, his hand tightly wrapped around his wife's hand, his other arm around his daughter.

"Does that mean I can't see Mommy anymore?" She cried, an innocent look in her eyes.

"Yes honey, but Mommy will always be right here," He said, putting his hand over her heart, "And she will always be looking down on you, don't you ever forget that okay?"

"Okay Daddy," She said, before removing herself from her father's arms and crawling over to where her mother lay still.

"I love you Mommy," She whispered, kissing her gently on the cheek and wrapping her arms around her neck in a tight hug. She crawled back to her father and threw her arms around him and burried her head into his neck and burst into tears.

"Shh sweetie, it's okay," He soothed, tears coursing down his own face. Once she started to calm down he placed her in the chair before walking over to his wife.

He took one of her hands in his own and brought it up to his lips, gently kissing it before lowering it to the bed again. He leaned in close and whispered softly, for her ears only.

"God Lyd, how am I supposed to raise Alexis on my own. How can you leave me here by myself?" He cried, "You weren't supposed to leave me yet. We were supposed to grow old together, remember once Alexis turned 18 we were going to kick her out to college and then move into a small house in the country. We were going to have a ranch with horses that we could ride and a spare bedroom for when Alexis came home from college. We were going to be grow old and gray and wrinkly together and love every moment of it. You weren't supposed to leave me at 29…you're too young. Come on Lydia…open those brown eyes I love so much, this has to be all some terrible nightmare…come on baby…you can't leave me…"

He leaned down and pressed one last soft kiss to her lips before letting go of her hand and turning to find his daughter sitting in the huge chair, her legs pulled up to her chest, her head against her knees sobbing quietly against them. He picked her up and sat in the chair setting her on his lap. He brought her head to his shoulder and held her tightly as she sobbed the loss of her mother. He thought about all the times that they had together and all the times that Lydia would miss. Tears silently coursed down his cheeks as he smoothed his daughters long red hair out. He looked down and realized that his daughter had fallen asleep. He carefully stood up, looked at his wife one last time before walking out of her room. The doctor looked at him with sorrow in his eyes as he walked out of the ICU doors and brought his daughter home.

He hailed a cab and gave them the address, as he got home he carefully carried his daughter in and placed her in her room, tucked her in and kissed her goodnight. He walked into his room and looked at it before breaking down into sobs. Everything was as it was every other night except for his missing wife. Never again would they share the bed together, he turned the lights out and closed the door before walking the short distance to his daughters room. He took his shoes off and climbed into bed with her, pulling her close to his chest before drifting off to a sound sleep, his daughter tucked protectively in his arms.


End file.
